Part 22: Broken
"Thank you Koenma." You managed to mumble weakly. The small ruler continued to gaze at you sympathetically, which only made you keep your gaze set fixed to the marble floor in front of you. You had come here after Shadow had told you of your family's fate, hoping that she had been wrong in her information; though you quickly found she wasn't. Koenma had explained the case in detail to you as you had sat listening to it and letting it all sink in.
I'm sorry about your loss Brianey. Your mother and father were good people, and from what I know of them from the records, they were good demons too. I have arranged for them to be sent to rest where they choose. But before that, I can arrange for you to see them before they go?" You nodded mutely, signalling your wishes before sliding slowly off your chair and giving him a small, meek glance. "Thank you Koenma. I have to ask though. Can't you... Can't you bring them back?"
"I'm afraid not Brianey. Though it's what I would normally do, it was their time to go. I'm sorry but I can't bring them back even if I wanted to. The law of Spirit World forbids me to." He answered gravely. Sighing at him you nodded in understanding.
"No I thought you wouldn't anyway, I... I just needed to make sure. Thank you again; if you'll excuse me... I should go." You trailed off as you headed for the door, you heard him mumble an apology once again before you left. You don't reply as you head outside, through the portal and into the apartment grounds, to be alone.
Hiei's Point of View
You watch Brianey from your bedroom window as she walked outside. Her face was blank and her eyes were set fixedly on the lush green grass that stretched out around her, and the vast landscape of this part of
Yukina stopped as a permanent resident at the shrine, to help Genkai when she needed healing. Though the old bat only grudgingly accepts such things. Though as a warrior myself I understand - been given help to relive pain is a weakness.
Your mind wondered back to the more important. You heaved a sigh concerned, which was uncommon for you to do as you watched Brianey settle herself beneath a tall, willow tree.
I can't even begin to feel her pain. Though I've seen it many times from jobs I use to do I never cared about them, nor have I experienced that feeling myself. I was but a child when I was abandoned. I never had my family killed. I didn't even know them.
You remained where you were, for a time before opening the window, and letting yourself out.
Brinaey's Point of View
You pulled your legs up to your chest as you stared vacantly at the grass before you. You hated this feeling, but at the same time it was the only thing that was making everything seem some how real. The only thing that was connecting you with being here at all.
Why did they have to die because of me? Is it because of what I am that he went after them? Why? Why does he even want me?
You continued to try to work out this question but you sighed finding no answers. To you it just didn't make any sense to harm them, they were innocent. Your spirits sank lower at this fact; until everything becomes too much to handle. For some reason, this had to be for good right? Or was this all happening because you had done something ...or you deserved it somehow? You closed your eyes trying to block everything out, as the pounding inside your head compresses against your brain and your lungs start to suffocate.
You gasped.
"Brianey... I said are you alright?"
You glanced apprehensively at him before shaking your head. You watched him seat himself beside you, looking out at the reddish pink sky above, before looking back at you. "I'm sorry, that was a silly question wasn't it." He made a small, sad smile.
"It's ok Kurama... What did you want?" You asked, wishing to be alone. He looked at you quietly for a moment before nodding in understanding.
"Shadow... We're all concerned about you, that's all." He answered, you nodded sighing.
"Tell them I'm fine. I just want to be alone." You snuck a glance again, seeing he looked slightly hurt. Nodding he rose to his feet, and headed inside.
You heard his footsteps falter and then stop.
"If you ever need to talk you know where we are, Bri." You nodded, not looking. "Oh and we're going to go bowling on Saturday If you want to come you can, if not we understand."
"Yeah, thanks." You managed. You heard him go completely before you closed your eyes and sat there feeling completely isolated, numb and empty.
Shadow's Point of View
Genkai, who had come to visit, drank deeply from her ceramic cup of green tea, with mint. She watched the scene with no comments.
"Nothing?" Yusuke asked hesitantly. He nodded slowly replying.
"She wants to be alone, she... Told me to tell you she's fine but." He trailed off as you understand his concerns. You lay down, curling up quietly frowning. You felt Kurama start to stroke your hair gently.
You remained like you are, looking around occasionally at members of the room who tried to suggest ideas. None of them seem at all feasible or good.
Why is this happening to her? Why her?
"Are you all still trying to come up with ideas to help her?" Hiei's voice appeared out of no where, cutting sharply into the silence. You, along with the others turned to him as he stood staring impassively back at each of you.
Yusuke nodded glumly.
"So your plan is to sit around and wait for an idea to come to you ...?"
"We tried talking to her... She wont." Kurama replied pointedly. You watched Hiei as he bowed his head, and for some unknown reason you found yourself lightly smiling, though it's rendered with sadness.
"Hiei, we have tried talking to her... She won't even talk to me. I think it's because I'm too close to her and she never likes to feel weak. Why don't you try...? As a favour for me please get her to talk?"
You felt so helpless asking him but something from the way he was around her made you trust him with this one plea. He looked at you strangely before disappearing in a blur of black.
Brianey's Point of View
You were staring almost subconsciously out at the plains that surrounded the apartment for miles on end. You moved your head to glance down at the ground, which was a good 30-40 feet. It was large enough to cause serious injury, but you were also trying to take into account that there were some good sized boulders placed nearby.
So I aim for the rocks, and just... Let go. Then he won't hurt anyone. Will he?
You frowned hesitantly, and you were vaguely aware of your body gripping to the branch tighter. You looked at the setting sun; watching as it fought with itself. Almost as if it was struggling from sinking below view, you smiled faintly.
It reminded you of how you felt.
Closing your eyes, you leaned forward until your arm was straining to keep you from plunging down from the tree, and with a fleeting last mumble of, "Sorry." Your fingers slipped.
You fell.
"Bla-ck pai-nt."
"Black... paint." He repeated. You nodded. He looked please with himself and dragged you over to something else and pointed.
"Shadow... We're all concerned about you, that's all."
"I can't kill you. I'm supposed to protect you, remember?"
"If you ever need to talk you know where we are Bri."
"When you left. We looked everywhere for you. We hardly spelt. We hardly ate."
"Strong people don't run away from problems. They tackle them head on."
What am I... Your eyes snapped open in an instant, and you flipped over instinctively, your mind racing you emitted a small, scared cry before you hit the floor feet first and dropped rolling to cushion the blow.
Lying down on your side you bit your lip as tears brimmed and finally dripped down your pale, tired face. You heard quick footsteps coming over to where you were. A clad of black cloth appeared in front of you as you shakily looked up at Hiei, who stared back at you quietly.
"Why did you jump?"
You buried your face into your knees as you sobbed uncontrollable into them; feeling him watching you quietly, you shook.
"I thought... It would help if I wasn't here at all." Was your only reply.
"I'm so sorry... Didn't belong... I think I do..."
"It's ok." You consoled gently; keeling down, you slowly moved a hand onto her back feeling her whole body quacking with sobs. Your expression changed to surprise when she grabbed you around the waist and lay her head into your lap, crying. You sat perplex; feeling very out of place as you stared at her.
What the fuck do I do? You panicked, thinking about contacting one of the others, so they could deal with her. Something inside you stopped you, however. You slowly got your wits about you, and guided your hand up and down her back, in what you thought to be a comforting motion.
"It's ok Brianey." You repeated as you stroked her back, looking at her in dismay. You watched her as she clung to you in her distressed state; her eyes were closed tightly as she held fist full's of your cloak.
You'd never seen someone looking so scared, so hurt. Looking over to the apartment you remembered what Shadow had told you. Looking down you closed your eyes and teleported yourself and Brianey to her room so as to not let the others see her in this state.
Hours Passed.
Still you stayed put. Your back ached from being in the same position for so long, but you ignored it. For some reason; nothing else really mattered as you watched her crying, broken.
You hadn't expected him to stop with you. He was silent, never saying a word as you stared at the wall almost surreally. Finally you spoke, almost inaudibly.
"I'm sorry, firefly."
"For what, onna?"
"For being weak. For trying to take an easy way out." He remained silent. You were scared. You'd almost killed yourself only a few hours ago. The only thing that stopped you was the thought of what everyone else would feel.
The thought of your friends had kept you going - you didn't understand.
"Why did you jump?" He asked the question again quietly.
"I thought if I wasn't here... He wouldn't bother you all. He wouldn't keep killing people I care about." You managed to answer him, you heard him grunt before he asked another question.
"Why did you stop?" You creased your eyebrow slightly as you held tears back. Didn't he want you to?
"I didn't mean it that way Brianey. Never think that. I simply meant what caused you to realise you shouldn't die." You relaxed slightly, but reframed from answering his question.
You heard him sigh slightly and you finally, nimbly moved off him and crawled your way onto the bed curling up. He stood up slowly straightening himself.
"Will you be ok onna?"
You watched him for a while, before closing your eyes unsure to the answer, you heard him moving. You froze.
"I will watch you. I won't tell the others what happened, I swear that to you. But you must promise me that you won't try it again." You sighed.
"I can't pro-"
"If you kill yourself, your family will have died in vain and everything that has happened will be all for nothing. It hurts, more than I can probably comprehend - I've never been through what you are going through but know this.
"The world and the people around you would crumble, if you were not here. We would not be able to cope if you died."
You slowly rolled to him; finding him watching you, and more curiously, you find him looking at you with emotion. Slightly confused, and too exhausted to bother to ask you nodded as your eyes drooped.
"In that case... I promise Firefly." You whispered, and finally fell into blissful sleep.
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